Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
