Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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