If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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