hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
