In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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