I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
