he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
