Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
