I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
