I think my vagina is haunted
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
it glows. i had to have it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
