Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
