I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
