YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
