OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
