i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
