He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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