Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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