I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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