Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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