I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
