hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
