I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
