literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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