No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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