Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
