This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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