You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
