party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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