If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
high people should be assigned attendants
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
