This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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