I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
