Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
