no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
