This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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