genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
