Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
