They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
