Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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