20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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