He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
