I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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