we have officially lost it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
