That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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