Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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