Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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