I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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