Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
