she was so not down for the gang bang
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
