Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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