i think my tv is drunk
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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