i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
